


Mutual Reasons for Murder

by IvyCpher



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Book 2: Wayward Son, Dancing, Disco, F/M, M/M, No Spoilers for Book 2: Wayward Son, POV Penelope Bunce, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-28 21:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21398764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: Simon and Baz leave Penny and Shepard alone in the desert to get dinner. Penelope is freezing and tries a new fire spell Shepard recommends her, too bad it's disco.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Penelope Bunce/Shepard, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Mutual Reasons for Murder

Penelope sighed as she rubbed her fists under her glasses. It was late and she was tired and cold and just thoroughly  _ annoyed  _ that Simon and Baz would leave her in the middle of the desert with this stupid Normal.

She and Baz had been all for just magicking some more money and staying at a motel or something, but Simon insisted that they camp out to look at the stars. Baz of course (after a little persuasion on Simon's end) finally agreed, and Shepard loved camping out. Penelope had been voted out.

And to make matters worse, Shepard had loaned Simon and Baz his truck so that they could get some dinner. Penelope had no choice but to stay with Shepard, and he was more talkative than ever. They were sitting on a sleeping bag together, Penelope sitting the farthest she could away from Shepard and Shepard not seeming to notice.

Penelope was freezing and trying to block out Shepard's story about his picnic with the Mothman, because the _Mothman wasn't real_ _and he certainly didn't like banana bread!_ While she was doing her best to ignore Shepard, she was trying to think up a way to cast a fire. She could hardly understand how a desert so _hot _in the day could become so _cold _at night. She was half tempted to use **_you're getting warmer_** on her hands so that she might heat up, but it would be a waste of magik to keep using it.

While she was lost in her own thoughts of thinking up a worthwhile spell, Penelope suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and looked up to see that Shepherd had broken the yard of space between them and was looking at her with concern. "Geez, Penny, you're shivering. Why didn't you say anything about being cold?" He asked, already starting to take off his patched covered blue jean jacket.

A heat that Penelope didn't know her body still had rushed to her cheeks, "I'm fine, Shep!" She raised her hands defensively like Shephard was going to flog her with his jacket instead of giving it to her. "I don't need your jacket. Keep it."

A smile pulled at Shepard's lips and he readjusted his jacket, "Fine, but it wouldn't be too bad of an idea to make a fire."

Penelope had dropped her hands once she realized that Shepard wasn't going to force his jacket on her, "I know," She pushed up her glasses, they were closer than what she was comfortable with now. "I'm just thinking of a good spell, all the ones I know are better for heating up things. Not lighting fires."

Shepherd bit the inside of his cheek, "Why not  ** _burn, baby, burn_ ** ?" He asked.

"I'm not burning a baby and we don't even have a baby to burn!"

"No, no!" Shepard laughed, "It's the chorus from a disco song."

Penelope scrunched up her nose, "Disco? Really? That's almost as bad as country."

"You want a fire or not?" Shepard asked with a roll of his eyes. "Disco is the best and we're gonna freeze by the time Baz gets back, we really should've asked him to make a fire before he and Simon left…"

"Ugh fine!" Penelope stood up and dusted off her skirt, "But I'm only doing it so I won't freeze." She cracked her knuckles and directed her large, purple ring on the ground a safe distance from the sleeping bag they were sitting on. "What's the spell then?"

Shepherd's smile grew and he too stood up, he stood at Penelope's side and watched the spot on the ground where her ring was pointed. " ** _Burn, baby, burn. Disco inferno._ ** " He said slowly.

Looking over her shoulder at Shepard with a snort, Penelope grinned. " _ Disco inferno _ ?" She laughed.

"It's a classic song!" Shepard laughed too, "I'll play it for you after we get this fire going and I can feel my fingertips again."

"I'd rather you not but I don't want to freeze," Penelope mumbled before saying the first part of the spell. She waited for Shepard to repeat the next line besides her.

" ** _Burn, baby, burn. Burn that mother down, y'all._ ** " Shepherd said and Penelope had to fight the urge to giggle lest they have to start the spell over again.

Penelope could feel her ring heating up on her finger as she spoke the spell one line at a time with Shepard, and when she reached the last lyric in the chorus a red line shot from her ring and suddenly there was a crackling fire on the ground. Oddly enough though it seemed like it didn't need a source to burn on, it crackled merrily in the sand and the air immediately started to feel warmer.

Penelope let out a whoop at her success and turned around to face Shepard with her hands on her hips, "Well are you going to play the bad disco song that made the fire or not?" She asked.

"I thought you hated disco?" Shepard asked, crossing his arms loosely about his chest.

"I do, but I want to hear it. Come on, put it on before I change my mind."

Shepherd didn't need Penelope to tell him twice. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and an ad that warned people about the health risks about vaping played for ten seconds. Then the song finally started to play and he turned his phone up to full volume before dropping it carelessly to the sleeping bag on the ground.

Shepherd hopped out of his truck and danced badly towards Penelope, "Come on, Penny!" He grinned, holding out his hand. "Let's boogie!"

Penelope laughed, "You're crazy!" She said, but she took his hand anyway and they both danced badly together.

Okay maybe Shepard was a Normal, maybe he had a weird-  _ very weird _ obsession with befriending anyone and everyone of the magickal community, maybe he had horrible taste in music, but he was also a little fun.

By the time the song ended both Shepard and Penelope where laughing and clutching each other.

"See! Disco isn't that bad, you're.. You're a really great dancer." Shepard said once his laughter died down. A new song started to play but neither of them noticed. "I am happy that spell worked though, I didn't know if it would."

Ignoring Shepard's compliment, Penelope looked up at him questioningly. "Why didn't you think it would work?"

"Well-" Shepard clicked his tongue, "I kinda- made it up?"

"You what!" Penelope jumped away from him. "How could- you're a  _ Normal!  _ How- I'm a mage and I haven't even created a working spell yet!"

With a shrug Shepard put his hands up in a defensive manner, "Hey, but it worked right? And it got you to listen to disco! It's a win-win! It would've been boring to use a lighter and it's not like we had anything to light anyways."

Before Penelope could yell at Shepard some more there was the loud, unmistakable sound of the Bee Gees. She turned around to see that Simon and Baz were back in Shepard's truck. Simon stopped the truck then jumped out, leaving the radio on. "Great snakes, Shep! Why didn't you tell me your truck had every disco CD known to man?" He was grinning, either oblivious to Penelope's anger or just used to it.

And while Shepard and Simon were thrown into a conversation about disco, the loud music was turned down so that Penny looked behind her. Baz was leaving the truck with his arms full of food, she rushed over to help him. "Do you want to help me kill Shepard?" She asked taking some of the food out of his arms, it was bags and bags of McDonalds.

Baz nodded and adjusted his grip on the bags he was still holding, "Only if you help me kill Snow, he would  _ not  _ turn that stuff down since he found it." He sighed.

"Oh good, then we're killing for a mutual reason."

"Disco music?"

"Disco music."

**Author's Note:**

> Listen all the while I was reading Wayward Son I was really hoping they'd use 'burn, baby, burn' as a spell. Well if you can't find something might as well make it yourself!
> 
> Also the reason Penelope hates disco is because Simon loves it and made her hate it. Baz hates it for the same reason. When in doubt murder your boyfriend/future boyfriend!
> 
> Shepard needs more love!!!!
> 
> Also I thought of this while writing---
> 
> Simon, digging through the center console of Shepard's car and finding a bunch of disco CDs: oh my god, Shep, YOU LIKE DISCO?
> 
> Shephard: LIKE IT I LOVE IT
> 
> Penny then has a mental breakdown while they radio is jacked up all the way and Shepard and Simon and badly singing the Commodores together.
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!!!


End file.
